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The issues become how much time to spend together and how to spend it, how much information to share and about what, which battles to fight and when to turn the other cheek, what advice to give and when silence is golden.

In interviews for our forthcoming book, When Will My Grown-Up Kid Grow Up?

Parents still may be tempted to give unsolicited advice, do whatever's needed to protect kids from harm — and remind them to get car insurance.

And grown kids may be frustrating friends who don't return parents' calls, cancel dates at the last minute or text their buddies while dining with the family.

The challenge becomes how to find common ground without overstepping the comfortable boundaries between you.

Many parents will go to great lengths to carve out time and activities that work for their grown children.

Hard-to-get baseball tickets or dinner reservations, biking, skiing, even training for a marathon, like one gutsy, 64-year-old mother of two agile sons.

If you're wondering about whether to say something, ask yourself if the behavior that's bothering you is serious, dangerous or simply unpleasant.

For instance: If your son appears unshaven and scruffy for the family reunion, well, that may not be pretty, but it's not life-threatening.

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