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“Best hobby ever,” I replied, “next to drinking beer. Because you’re leaving everything you know, all your security, all your old friends, just to try out something new. And unless you have a lot of money, you can quickly find yourself living alone in a cruddy, dark apartment without the proper funds to go out and enjoy yourself. You can be another sort of a hobby for them, if you that’s your pleasure. But let me just say it: Japanese people kind of suck at deep thinking.

You just go out, talk to people doing your same hobbies of shopping, walking, eating, and sleeping, and pretty soon you have folks to hang out with. There are plenty of Japanese people who enjoy practicing their limited English on you. Transporting yourself to a place where everyone is different by default isn’t likely to help much. I know that may come as a shock since I’m normally amazingly well-balanced, so brace yourself.

News teams wander through cities looking for people who appear foreign, just to ask their opinions about “Japanese” things. Our English class is having a cherry blossom viewing party and everybody would love to meet a real foreigner.

The population sees on TV and learns in school just how different “You” are.

The recent focus on tourism and the Tokyo Olympics has only made things worse, since Japan has decided to push being welcoming toward “foreigners.” I was walking through Kyoto station when an old man singled me out and yelled “Welcome to Japan! Remind me to try that overseas, the next time I see someone who looks or “Italian” or “Chinese.” In Japan, the concept of treating everyone equal, regardless of appearance, is truly a foreign idea.

Making female friends is easier, maybe because the relationship is clearer. Men have to sort out their position in the hierarchy of dudes.

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Well, they do have a lot of eagles, cheeseburgers, and guns, so I guess it must be true. And what I really wanted to say was, You folks have some strange ideas about what constitutes a hobby. Now, I’ve moved to a bunch of different cities, both in the U. But unlike the West, where it’s easy to get into college but hard to get out, in Japan, it’s the opposite. “Oh,” she replied, “you just need to have really low standards.

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Anyway, recently a reader asked if it was hard to make friends in Japan, to which I’m tempted to answer “well, yes and no.” But since that’s the world’s most dickish answer, I’ll just go with “yes.” Yes, it is, for a few simple reasons. So the other day I met him and his wife at the station. How about stamp collecting or gluing together model airplanes—-because those are legitimate hobbies. Once they enter college, their education largely stops. It’s not just that Japanese people might not accept you, but that you might not accept them, unless you really love being the dancing bear. Which reminds me of a foreign girl I once met who raved about how much sex she was having in Japan. That’s the key.” So there you go, the secret to having an endless supply of Japanese friends and lovers: exceedingly low standards.

By way of illustration, let me first tell you about my good friend, Imada-san. Maybe in the West, men don’t bathe together much, but really, how can you call somebody a friend if you haven’t seen his junk? She loves to speak English, since she used to live in the greatest nation on earth. But then I’ve never seen her naked either, so clearly she isn’t that good of a friend. Japanese university (based on the four I’ve taught at) appears to be comprised of two years of screwing off followed by two more of job hunting. It was late when I got off the train at my station, and I walked the long shopping street back to my apartment. Or are we just random bits of dust floating in a vast universe? Then as if in reply, I got a message from Imada-san: “Tonight was fun, thanks. Pick you up at seven.” He really is a hell of a nice guy.

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