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Most dating websites are engines of algorithmic-powered rationality. ); to fill out various personality and psychometric profiles; and generally to ruminate a great deal about your path to a fulfilling relationship.For example, they require you to describe yourself in words (your characteristics and interests, loves and hates); to sum up the attributes of the sort of person you’d like to be with (fun-loving? The psychologists Keith Stanovich and Richard West (and, more recently, Daniel Kahneman in his book ) call this kind of approach to problem-solving “system 2”.Not only is it difficult to guess what others will find attractive in us, but we also can’t be sure what we really want in our partners until we meet them. It’s based on research I did for my book , published by Oneworld this week.Although 21Pictures is a fully functional dating site, it is also a social experiment, since it offers various new approaches that haven’t really been tried before.
But as Eli Finkel at Northwestern University and colleagues have shown, it isn’t that helpful. In January, I launched a new dating site called 21Pictures which tries to use insights from psychology to create a more intuitive experience, where daters can make the most of their hard-wired social intelligence when choosing a partner.
If you’ve ever wanted to know what goes on inside the male mind, this is what happens: A lot of women I meet think that guys are inherently terrified of being with one person. The only reason is because they associate it with losing their freedom, having sexual excitement, being able to pursue whatever they want.
The great news is, that these feelings are entirely within a woman’s control.
Humans are remarkably adept at navigating complex social worlds and instinctively picking up on familiar signs that might indicate compatibility.
As a species we’ve been doing this for millions of years; as individuals all our lives.